03 December 2010

A Piece of Memory That Should Fade Away...

Assalamualaikum wbt..

To Whom It May Concern…

About a year ago, I started to write this blog. And after more than 100 posts, finally I decided to write something that I wish to tell you long time ago. I know you will never read this, but please let me write a piece of our memory here for the first and the last time, and after this I will try to let them go, I promise..

Dear my friend..
Did you still remember?
During our primary school time..
We used to tease each other when there're no teachers around..
We used to chase each other during recess time..
We used to make jokes by using each other's names..
We used to compete with each other in the class..
And we used to laugh together with your silly jokes..
Did you smile like me when you think about it? :) 

Done with primary school, then we separated..
We haven't heard about each other for quite few years..
Suddenly one day we met again, accidentally..
Then I posted you a letter..
And you gave me a call..
We talked together happily on the phone..
Like we used to do during our school time..
I can feel that you're happy as I am..
As our friendship started to bloom again like few years ago..

Until one day..
I gave you a call..
A call that change everything..
A call that hurt you so much..
Due to my inappropriate words..
Which I never realized before..
And you started to remain silent to me..
From weeks to months to years..
And eventhough I realized my mistake later,
I didn't even had any courage to call and apologize to you..
And we remained like that for few years later..
How can I be that stupid?

Then one day I saw you in the newspaper..
In the picture where you're smiling back at me..
A smile that I missed long time ago..
And I knew then that you're doing well without me..
I was very glad to know that..
And finally one day I managed to apologize to you..
Eventhough you didn't give me any reply..
But I knew you read it, and that's enough for me..
As I already did something that I should do..
Since few years ago, not now..
And sorry for the late apology, my friend..

So we kept quiet from each other for few years, again..
As we got to move on with our new adult life..
Our memories started to fade away from my mind..
And I knew you started to forget them as well.. 
Until one day you added me at Facebook..
I'm happy to know that you never forget me completely..
But our friendship was never be the same as before..
As the only time we contacted through Facebook just once in a year..
When we wish each other's birthdays and thanks, just like that..
But it's alright my friend..
Receiving your short birthday wish once a year..
Is one of the remarkable moment I ever had..

Now, 12 years had passed..
Since we started to know each other when we're young..
I’ve changed a lot, and the same goes to you..
And we’re no longer important in each other’s life..
Seeing you success and happy with your life right now..
I knew that’s already enough for me..
12 years I lived by carrying our memories..
And now it’s the right time for me to let you go with your own life..
As I need to move on too..
And if I could turn back time..
I swear to myself that I’ll never hurt you, even once..
But whatever a past, is a past..
We can never go back to that time..
And I’ll try my best not to regret that.

Goodbye my friend, I wish you all the best..
Please forgive me for what I’ve done..
12 years knowing you, there’re so many memories of us that I keep to myself..
Thanks for these memories, I really appreciate it..
And if these memories started to hurt me someday..
I’ll try my best to let them go..
So take care my friend..
May Allah bless you, always and forever.

Your old bestie,
Raden Azwani


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